This week’s post is an update on my recent progress and some interesting self realizations.
As some of you may know, I had tremendous success with Mirror Therapy (see my previous blog entry) and as a result I decided to wean myself off all medications.
Well… I didn’t know what would come my way. I had a week from hell as some call it. I experienced withdrawal symptoms of a drug addict (not that I would know, but can only imagine. Hey just a moment – I do know, at least now…).
It was really hard! There were may times when I was tempted to reach out to the ‘bottle’ and take a ‘small dose’ (medication that is), just to calm things down. This inner struggle started on a mild level and as days passed it got bigger, more aggressive and much more challenging to handle.
Fighting hand over fist this mammoth feeling inside drove me crazy. How can this be? I was only on some strong painkillers and a nerve pain control medicine for 6 weeks…
This experience ignited my curiosity about addictions and I decided to study more about human addictions, how and why they happen and how we deal with them.
Now, don’t get me wrong, this is not a psychology research essay here, all it is, is a reflection on self and where I’m with it. I decided to share this as I believe we all have hidden ‘addictions’ in our lives that we just don’t acknowledge or know what to do about them. The bottom line is that everything is connected to change or the fear of it. How to identify it, let go and change – this is the question I’ll will try to answer this question in the next few months.
As soon as started my research I found many studies about the BIG addictions, drugs, alcohol, food, shopping, money etc. I must admit that at that point, I thought to myself that I have no serious addictions in my life :-)
I’m a pretty grounded all round guy, living a stable life (short of one foot). Yes the meds I was on are addictive and I understand why I experienced withdrawal symptoms, but I couldn’t help myself from digging a little deeper – is it possible I have addictions in other areas of my life that I’m not aware of, or maybe dismissive of? What will happen if I will discover them and try to wean off them too? Will I experience similar symptoms?
Then the floodgates opened, once the veil was off, and I allowed myself to be honest, I found LOTS of them!
My most obvious personal addictions are mainly behavioral / physical.
I am addicted to the Internet/computers and its many hidden heads: time spend in front of a monitor (be that a laptop, desktop, tablet or smartphone), the need to be connected and know what’s going on, endlessly checking email, Facebook updates, YouTube and so much more. My best excuse is that most of it is work related, personal development related, information search related. You name it - I’ll agree with it. But realty is reality.
Another obvious one is my morning ritual – it is so much the same that I’m startled by the mere thought of changing it (you know, waking up earlier, exercise, prepare nutritious food for the day etc.)
Others came in the form of eating habits, from certain foods I crave for to how I consume them and how I reason with my inner voice that it’s ok to go for the ice cream, chocolate or whatever it maybe.
Now this is just a short list of behavioral / physical addictions… then came the BIG ones: They are all emotional!
Emotional addictions come in many forms and shapes. The need to feel worthy, respected, needed. The fear of change, doubts about self confidence, the future, the need to plan and be in control, constant need to achieve, social acceptance and the list goes on and on.
The reason I share this, is to invite you to the conversation and share your own ‘hidden addictions’ – I would love to hear about your insight and experience.
My intention in the next few blog posts is to identify several major addictions I want to change and go on a self initiated rehab program. By sharing this with you I’ll be accountable (and please let me know when I’m off track) and I just think it will be a very interesting experiment with how we deal with change and what does it take to let go of certain self limiting beliefs we got so addicted to that we don’t even know they exist and control our lives.
Over the years, as a student of life, I developed a very successful system that enabled me to initiate change, follow through and reach new heights in my life. It is my intention to share it with you and invite you to put it to the test in your own life.
I hope you’ll join this conversation and share your own stories. I’ll be happy to help and shade light on my process – see where it all goes.
A quick update:
I’m doing very well! I think I’m over the hump (one out of xxxxxxxxx) so for now I continue my rehab sessions in GF Strong, 3 hours every day! + I was fortunate to find a supplier in Vancouver that rented me a handcycle. I’m so exited about it!. It gave me my freedom of movement again, I cycle everyday and loving every minute of it.
Here some pics of what I do in rehab and my new wheels
See you soon
Your ever well wisher